Drama-obsessed People- part II

When do you tell a person that you honestly don't give two cents to their drama they want to share? Especially when it's not even their own drama, but someone else's?

See, I haven't been too careful of doing that myself. Sometimes when I feel a bit superior over an ex-boyfriend and want to make sure the person I'm talking to knows why I'm better, I'll share information that is not relative to my situation at all that makes the other person look bad. I'm even friends with some of my old boyfriends. Why would I do that?

I'd easily like to blame someone else, but if you've read my blog before, you know how I feel about that already. It's true, this style of gossiping is a learned behavior, but I can also take charge of my life and try to live differently.

How do we stop this vicious cycle?
To tell the truth, I don't know that I have the full answer to this. I think it might be different for each of us.

For me, probably the first step would be to let the past die. If I have truly forgiven someone, then I have no reason to share past offences against me with other people. It's not their business. The only reason to share such information is to change that person's view on another in a bad light. Isn't the world hard enough without everyone giving you the cold shoulder before you get to prove you've changed for the better?
That part starts with me, and I even already broke this today. I talked badly about an ex unnecessarily. I want to become conscious of my inclinations to talk badly about other people, and nip it in the bud.

So that would hopefully help my problem, but what about everyone else?
Well, first, make sure you diagnose the situation correctly. Sometimes a friend needs a shoulder to cry on or get advice, so details of too much information may come with the territory. What I want to avoid are situations where a person is talked about simply to have their credibility diminished. An act of revenge, revelation of a scandal, etc. Not my business.

So... how would you want me to politely tell you that I'm not interested in hearing how much a 'girl hates you for no apparent reason and these are the reasons why I don't care,' or that 'at a party my ex-boyfriend's fiancée took off her ring to appear single while dancing with other guys'? It's not that I don't love you. I just want the bad-mouthing to stop. Starting with me.

Will you stand with me? Will you help keep me accountable?

Reality TV

Yeah, I know. When I read it, I cringe, too.

But I also know that I watch it.

There are a few shows that I watch on occasion, and I honestly don't know what I find appealing about them.

Like, the Real Housewives (of wherever, it doesn't matter).

I don't really want to follow their drama; I more find myself amazed when I simply compare their every day lives in comparison to mine. 

I can't imagine living in a mansion with just my husband a couple of pooches. 

I can't imagine taking my 3 and 5 year old children shopping EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

I can't imagine having a hair and nail stylist who come into my house every day to make me look like a celebrity.

I can't imagine spending the same amount on birthday cake that would get me a really good used car.

I can't imagine having (or pretending to have) that much money.

Most of all, I can't imagine the things that people would decide to say or bring up in a public situation, when you can even SEE it in their faces and eyes that they know there will be a huge fight. 

Are they that desperate for attention? I guess so.

You could argue that that's what this blog is: someone desperate for attention, for someone to acknowledge my opinion. And you may be right, but you also may be wrong.

A lot of these women do have good intentions, I'll admit. I've seen many who do wonderful things for charities and for their family, friends, etc. But why do some need to tell their husband on national television that she need her own personal jet? Or a yacht? Does anyone other than really important politicians or world leaders need a private jet? Does ANYONE honestly need a yacht? Probably not.

Because my sister (and my mother) got married this past summer, I also had my fill of watching wedding shows like 'Say Yes to the Dress,' and 'Bridezillas,' and although I could blame that on my sister, my continuing to watch similar shows is completely my own volition. Sometimes it's nice to watch women truly in love (not 'Bridezillas') finding the dress they want to marry the love of their life in. Often I can't imagine spending that much on a dress that I would wear only once, however, it is still fun to look. It's similar to window shopping, looking while not buying and still getting the same satisfaction.

Cooking and design shows are a double edged sword for me:

I know that a lot of these people are getting enough sleep, enough time to eat and take care of their health, nor enough time to contact their families. However, watching what these people can do under pressure, time, and money constraints is often amazing (or sometimes horrifying to us, the viewers). What humans are capable of doing is truly amazing, and I commend all the artists who compete on these shows.

American Idol? You're looking for the best 'performer,' not the best singer. If you want the best singer, try putting actual vocal coaches or teachers as your judges. I wish you would stop advertising it as the best singer. Most the time, I can't stand their voice.

There are few game shows I actually enjoy watching. 

One happens to be the Amazing Race.

These people are in a competition, yes, but part of this competition is learning about the cultures of other countries. The competitors are being exposed to places where English is not spoken and Democracy is not a way of life; these experiences are incredible opportunities to learn how big the world really is, and how different (and similar) all the people are. Experiences such as these are vital in order to rid the world of stereotypes, prejudice, and hate. Sometimes, experiences like this even inspire individuals to do even more to give back into the world, like Blake Mycoskie, who then created the first American company whose motto is 'One for One.' http://www.toms.com/

Such an experience is also a clear demonstration of ability to get tasks done in a using both street smarts as well as time management, and have a little fun, unlike the popularity contest shows where you can get 'voted off the island.'

The shows about average men and women doing difficult or extraordinary jobs can be fun, as long as the highlight of all your advertisements for that weeks episode is literally the only exciting part of the show. I'm not telling you to hype it up, I'm just saying don't over do the advertisements if that's the best you got for that week. 

One show I don't think I can ever watch? Toddlers in Tiaras. 

Considering how much it is advertised in commercials, I feel as though I've seen every episode.

I don't even have a problem with the kids so much.

Children are children. 

Your 3 year old daughter is not a queen or a princess, no matter how many flashy clothes you buy them.

Your 3 year old should never get away with ordering you out of the room, and you, the parent, complying.

What is the point of childhood beauty contests?

How many have you seen grow up to be the next famous actress on the big screen, or the next teen pop star?

I honestly don't know of any.

The only child model I ever knew the name of was JonBenet Ramsey, and that's because she was murdered.

Just keep that in mind when you're dressing your girls up in lip stick and high heels; we all need to be careful what we really want the world to see.

I will probably edit this or continue this in another post later on.

Drama-obsessed People

I'm going to start off by saying that I was enrolled in public middle and high schools.
I know drama when I see it.
And you know what?
I've noticed that there are age-levels of drama.

In middle school:
OMG, he likes her.
Does she like him?
No, she likes this other guy.
Does he like her?
Maybe, but he really likes this girl, and they're going to meet after school and go to the mall.
OMG, that's so cute!
Yeah, but she also told this guy that she would go to the dance with him.
For real? Why does he even like her? She's obviously just playing him!
(by the lockers of the 'popular girls')
***Everything is like this, love that, who's cool and who's not.

In high school:
OMG, I fought with my parents so I told them I was staying the night at Nicki's but really I stayed at Shawn's.
Nu uh, girl!
Oh, yes I did! His parents didn't care so we just stayed up all night and...
(in class instead of doing work)
***Angst against parents, teachers, and rebelling in every possible way. Oh, high school, I have not missed your shallowness and your materialism.

In college:
So my ex saw that my car was at his frat house and I told him that I was just studying with the some of the guys but really I was hooking up with his best friend Aaron!
You and Aaron?
Yeah, we've definitely been flirting for months and now I am not dating the control freak so I'm having fun.
What if he finds out?
He won't. Aaron doesn't want to lose his f*** buddy.
(campus sidewalks and shuttle stops)
***Definitely more organized and coordinated backstabbing. Everything is revenge against the ex.

These are general homogenized examples of things I have heard throughout the years. And at the age-level, I would say that some are fairly normal.
What's NOT normal is when you go up an age group and stay at the lower gossip group, or if you're young and in the higher age group.
Don't  act surprised, you've probably met some.

There were definitely kids at my middle school exploring sex together, and cheating on each other and bragging about it in the hallways. The guys often dropped out or got kicked out of school after a few years from fighting (their girls be cheatin' on them!) and the girls would get pregnant because obviously THEY were cool and THEY could never get pregnant so they didn't have to use protection. Um, sorry. No. You want the benefits of an adult relationship without the adult consequences. Stick to "who likes who."

I hate meeting people in college who are still obsessed with the drama from their high school (who is still sleeping with who, cheating, and prom queen). Yes, they exist. I've even met some who wanted to move back to their home town so they could be near the gossip.
Grow up. There's a reason you're out of high school: so you can learn to live a normal life.

I was never big on parties in the college scene (not being judgmental to anyone who is), but know that after I graduate, it's not a big deal to hear about who's getting wasted and hooking up with people at parties. After a few years in college, I pretty much know who they are, and so it's not really a surprise or a shock.
Basically, please don't call me about how crazy your party was last night. Odds are, I won't care.

It's often the same people who go to these parties and gossip about them that are the same ones who say they don't like parties.
Well, if you don't like them, don't go, because I certainly don't want to hear about them.
Since I hardly care for parties, I hardly ever go. If I go to one and get bored, I leave. Simple as that.

And don't use your friends as an excuse. If they want to be reckless with their lives, it's not your job to keep them safe from STD's, pregnancy, or even just a bad hangover.

I'm definitely not telling you to ditch your friends at a party.
I'm saying that it's not your responsibility to be a mom to your friends. Tell them how you feel about them going (or about who is there), and then tell them that you aren't going to go with them. If you're feeling really kind you can offer to pick them up as a sober driver in the middle of the night.

And CERTAINLY don't go and pretend to be disgusted, and then be the queen bee spreading the hot gossip from the latest party.
There's not even a word to describe how flaky that makes you look.