Are my pets being baby substitutes???

I'll preface stating that I have two cats, both just under three years old. I won't bore you with details about their adorableness; it will annoy you and it goes without saying anyway.

The thing is, I don't think a lot of people are as attached openly to their pets. I need to make myself admit that when I am gone for a few hours from my apartment, I find myself missing their snuggly, furry company.

I love being needed. I love taking care of them. I love when they take over my lap and take a nap. I even enjoy cleaning up after them. It makes me wonder if my hormones are a little out of whack.

I do want kids someday. I'm in this weird stage in my life where half of my friends and cousins around my age are getting married and having babies. As soon as one wedding happens, another friend is engaged and is planning their wedding. While that is happening, another friend, whose wedding I went to not too long ago, is pregnant, and so there are baby showers being held.

Me? I ended a dysfunctional relationship that took up almost 3 years of my college career, and have now been dating a wonderful guy for a year. I'm not quite ready to make a commitment that means forever yet, but I'm craving the thrills of bachelorette parties, wedding planning, and baby showers. It honestly doesn't help that both my sister AND my mother got married this past summer (just over a month apart, mind you).

I think that I get a little jealous and crave the attention that everyone is getting because someday I do want to get married and have children. I think that the way I keep myself from going nuts is by acting the mommy to my kitty babies. They are definitely independent beings, but they also love me like crazy and are needy for attention when I come in the door.

Another aspect that keeps me in check is that I know that often divorce in America these days contributes to not really getting to know and understand the person you're committing to until after the vows were taken. To me, marriage isn't supposed to be a business contract, where if he screws up on his end of the deal you'll be over and he'll owe you money. It's about being a family. Becoming a single unit. I want to make sure that I know exactly what I'm getting myself into before going down the aisle.

I also know that I don't want to have kids until I am married. There are definitely some great couples out there having children and staying happy without being married. The sad thing is that the happy ending is not what usually happens. I know a girl who lost her virginity to a guy she had just started dating, and even though they used protection, she got pregnant after the first time. She told him, and he wanted her to get rid of it, but she morally could not do so. Now he claims that it was from someone else and that he knew nothing about it. She's definitely a strong girl, and she's going to make it through (she's about 7 months along now), but I know that this isn't what she wanted. I know that she would have much rather wanted a guy who would stick around and want to be a part of her and their child's life. This has really happened to at least 4 friends and personal acquaintances of mine. The guy I'm dating is not this type, but it's easier for me to just avoid all the dramatic possibilities completely.

It's a tough world out there. It is implied in stories that when you love someone that everything will work out, but it doesn't. Better to make the best of everyday, and work through problems with love and understanding as best I can. In the mean time, I will probably continue to spoil my kitty babies with love (not food, one is definitely getting overweight). It calms the desires just enough to hold off until it's really my turn.

Broken Promises

Yeah, I know.
General title.
Really, if you think about it, it's such a huge horizon of possibilities.

I honestly believe that the worst thing we can ever do is make promises.
Seriously, we know that most of the time there aren't really horrible consequences.

When I don't work out like I promise myself I would, I'm actually usually a happy person.
Since I didn't work out, I'm not going to be sore tomorrow.
However, it doesn't help me get into shape or have a healthier lifestyle, like I want.
**side note: being slim does not equal being in shape. I would like to be able to run a few miles and not feel like puking.**

If you ever meet someone with an addiction, whether it's to drugs, alcohol, caffeine, or even just candy, they are kings/queens of breaking promises to themselves. So maybe they didn't quit smoking today; it's not like the smoke today will be what gives them cancer, right? No big deal.

When it comes to breaking promises to ourselves, it's usually something that hurts us in the long run, which is why we so easily write it off in the present.

The question really is: why do we even bother?

Let's come back to that.
Now, promises to other people?
That's a lot worse.
And a lot trickier.
Especially when kids are involved.

We teach kids that if you make a promise that you're a terrible, horrible person if you break it:
We make them promise to eat ALL their food.
Do their homework.
Brush their teeth.
Go to bed on time.

We promise them things like:
Going to the movies this weekend.
Getting ice cream.
Going to a friends house.
Going to the park.
Going to an amusement park.
Going on vacation.
Etc, etc, etc.

Kids are usually good at keeping their promises.
Adults are not.
And the kids take is PERSONALLY.

I know I did. I would remember every single time one of my parents broke a single promise.
Even if it was just postponed a day.

Then kids grow up. And realize just how easy it is to make promises and break them.
We forgive some people a little easier than others, especially when we understand circumstances as adults.

What I REALLY hate is when a guy or girl promises not to break someone's heart.
Um. Excuse me? What if you 'fall out of love' with this person while they're still in love with you?
How do you get out of that promise, I'd like to know?
The only people who make those promises early on in the relationship are actually the notorious heart breakers.
Note that I said 'early on.' I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, so don't get all tied up in knots.

Continuing, we most easily break promises to those that we love, ourselves, and the people we don't really like.
Basically, everyone. How do we stop the never ending cycle?

To quote an old song by Savage Garden,
"Don't go making all these promises you know you cannot keep.
There's a time to be a king and a time to be a thief.
'Cause if you're making all these promises you know know you cannot keep,
You know time will be the thief and your fallen king will end up alone."

So, don't make promises.
I'm not saying don't make any whatsoever.
If you promise to stay sober while your license is on suspension, I definitely say keep sober.
And I definitely believe people should keep those wedding vows (which are PROMISES).

However, if you're riding in the car with your son/daughter/niece/nephew/cousin/next-door-neighbor/whatever, maybe don't promise that you'll get ice cream after the movies. Maybe, if you find the ice cream shop still open, surprise them.

Maybe don't promise to call your significant other on your break at work. You might not get that break you deserve, or you might find something you really need to use that time for instead. You could say that if you get a chance you'll try to call them on a break.

If you're in (an) organization(s), seriously be wary of making promises to meetings or extra bake sales. You aren't a super hero. The best you can do is try to be at as many things as you can.

That being said, this does not give you permission to be a flake. If you say you're going to try, at least make the effort.
If you don't mean it, maybe you should just be honest with that person and tell them you can't/don't want to.
Honesty goes a long way with most people because they're used to the fake lies and broken promises.

I will try to be a real person with every person I meet. How about you?