How do we determine in life what is worth waiting for?
I suppose it depends on your situation.
If you're in an ice cream parlor, it's probably not the best idea to just wait and wait until you know for sure you want chocolate fudge instead of mint chocolate; there's probably a growing line of annoyed people behind you. Just choose one and pay already.
How about it you're deciding on what classes you should register for this semester/year? Again, probably best you decide quickly instead of hoping that all the classes you hope to take will work out perfectly; you may end up having to take this class next year since it conflicts with another that you NEED. Oh, and if you don't decide quickly, the class will fill up so you'll miss out anyway.
How about love? Now that, right there, is when it gets really tricky and sometimes sticky.
I've been there, so I'm not speculating feelings or hearts. What if you really REALLY like one guy, and he's not really showing he's interested, and you kind of really like another guy who's definitely showing an interest in you? Do you wait for the one you REALLY like, or accept a date from the guy you like, just not as much?
That above basically describes my whole high school love life, which was essentially non-existent. I kept choosing the wrong one, and then I'd be unhappy and not commit myself to a relationship. But how do you know???
I can't say that I have all the answers. As my dad told me recently on the phone, "Falling in love is the easiest thing in the world. Staying in love is hard; it takes work. Some people aren't willing to put in the work."
Generally speaking, I think all of that is true. I've been in long term relationships before with someone who believed he loved me, and was left because the idea of dating a newly discovered crush seemed so much more interesting or fun. It's not right; it's not fair. But it is a part of life.
Getting crushes are so normal. What you do with those feelings are what makes or breaks your current relationship. How well do you really know someone after a few days verses the one you've dated over a year? I can't say I'm angry about it, but it does depress me.
What I think it comes down to are two things: happiness and sacrifice.
Are you currently happy with the person you're with in your life? If you are, why bother sacrificing that for something/someone that could end up being a crazy psycho?
If you aren't happy with that person, why have you not discussed ways on how to fix it? If you have and you aren't even trying to work on fixing it, then I got news for you: it's not going to work. Both people need to work to make a love stay strong.
The other is sacrifice: what would you be willing to do/give up in order to stay with that person? Not that they are asking; but in a hypothetical situation. If they got an amazing job in another state, would you be willing to make it work by either finding a job out there as well or devoting yourself to a long distance relationship?
Again, if the answer is no, you might want to examine why you are with that person. I've had a close friend ask me why I dated my boyfriend; he 'wasn't good looking enough' for me and was a 'nerd.' Well again, I think people are looking in the wrong areas. First of all, dating a nerd has it's advantages: you know they are capable of devotion to something if they are deemed that title, and that can mean the most attentive boyfriend you've ever had. Don't knock it til you try it.
Second of all, I find him attractive, so it doesn't really matter if other people don't think so. If I was limited to only top notch looks and zero nerdy-ness I would be unhappy and surrounded by shallow guys who I can't have a decent conversation with and want all the wrong things from me.
A partner that treats you right and loves you for who you are is worth waiting for. I hope everyone learns that someday.
