Life has changed so much and so fast.
A year ago I had no idea that this is where I would be with what I have.
Everything has just been falling into (or out) of place.
I am losing so much that is familiar and comfortable. Moving out of my apartment of three years was more difficult than I thought. I lost (forever) one of my kitties to an unknown sickness and I miss her every single day. My closest relative lives a good 5 hours away, and the man I thought loved me back for the last three years needed to be free.
There is such an excruciating amount of hurt in my heart that sometimes all I can do is cry and hope that time will heal that which I cannot control.
Not everything has been bad; some things have been almost impossibly wonderful to believe.
I have the most amazing and supportive family that have dropped everything more than once to just help me, whether to deal with my grief or to help me move across the state. I finished my master's degree and was hired into a dream job right after coming back from my choir tour to New York. I'm in process of buying my first home and live temporarily with some incredible people that attend the local university. Leia, my partner in crime, is adjusting to her own roommates as well, even though dogs aren't her favorite living organisms. I have a completely new town and environment far away from all of my friends and family. A new face has arrived in my life and expressed an interest in me while happily still giving me space to let me figure out what I want and need.
I don't know what will work out and what won't, and I don't have all the answers, but this is a chance to start anew. To quote Lucy Maud Montgomery, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."
I have so much to be thankful for and for the first time in a long time I am truly happy. With every decision to be made I simply put my trust in God that I would be led where I'm supposed to go, and He has proven to me at every turn that His plans were so much greater than my own.
If you find yourself in an unsure place, look for the signs. You always have a choice, and there's always a path to lead you to where you are ultimately meant to be. Have faith, roll with the tides, and keep your chin up.
Live for what you love and never settle for less. <3
