Thursday, February 24, 2011

Forgiveness

Making amends, making peace, whatever you want to call it.
You don't have to be religious to feel better about yourself or your situation after apologizing when you've done something wrong. Just have to be human.

I student taught not too long ago in an elementary music classroom, and although a lot of singing and dancing went on, so did a lot of accidental bumping, fingers getting stepped on, elbows too close to neighbors, and ill-choice of words.

In the younger grades, especially, we would often take time to practice the exchange (as a class) both the apology and the acceptance of the apology. It would go something like this:

**Situation where, during a dance, a friend accidentally jabs his elbow into another friends chest**
victim-"OW!!"
Me-"Are you alright?
victim-"He hurt me!"
friend-"I didn't mean to!"
Me-"Oh, class, let's talk about what we should do. Raise your hand if you know what you should do if you accidentally hurt your friend. (Picks a raised hand)
student 1- You should say, "I'm sorry."
Me-"Very good. Let's practice as a class.
All-"I'm sorry."
Me-"Very good. What should the hurt person say back to their friend? Someone raise their hand and tell me. (Picks another raised hand)"
student 2- "You could say 'I forgive you.'''
student 3- "Or you could say, 'It's okay.'"
Me- "Let's practice saying this together. You can say either 'I forgive you,' or 'It's okay.' Ready?"
All- "I/It's forgive/okay you."
Me- "Very good! Now who's ready to play the Old Gray Cat?"
******

Now, I assume if you're reading this, you're an adult like I am. I am curious why forgiveness, something that is instilled in most public education systems in America, seems to get harder as you get older.

Perhaps the offenses are bigger? Stealing, lying, cheating all happens in classrooms, however, when we become bigger people, so do the things people steal, the lies, and the situations in which people cheat.

I lived in a situation with roommates in college that was less than pleasant in several different situations. Among stolen items from various members in the house (not just myself) include large amounts of money, food, movies, video games, an Ipod, even contact lenses (yes, prescription). We all had things stolen. And it sucked.

I had strong suspicions about several house roommates; especially ones that were not exactly the most forthcoming, or had a history of lying.

I finally confronted one such person recently (I live by myself now), because after a few months, I found it eating away at my soul. What was stolen from me that made me the most upset was contact lenses. When I finally talked to her about it, I suddenly realized how much it didn't matter in the long run. I had strong suspicions, as well as information to back up that counted as proof in my mind. It doesn't matter if she did or did not steal my contacts.

A book I read recently called Radical by David Platt is generally about how to separate your Christian faith from the ideals of the American Dream. One chapter is completely dedicated to the wealth of the United States compared to the rest of the world. I have always known about the difference of wealth, but it certainly put things in my life into perspective.

I'm not condoning the stealing. I am simply learning to accept that overall, it's just stuff. I had no right to ignore or be angry like I had been for months. I have glasses (2 pairs, actually), and I am lucky enough to have an optometrist in my town, let alone the money to pay for both a diagnosis as well as a cure (being the glasses or contacts).

I am not the best Christian in the world, and will never pretend to be. I will, however, accept that I have been forgiven for everything that I have ever done, and everything I will do in the rest of my natural lifetime. I have no right to withhold grudges, hate, or anger to any human being, no matter their vices against me. Everyone deserves my forgiveness. Even when it's hard.

And it always is.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Reality TV

Yeah, I know. When I read it, I cringe, too.
But I also know that I watch it.

There are a few shows that I watch on occasion, and I honestly don't know what I find appealing about them.
Like, the Real Housewives (of wherever, it doesn't matter).
I don't really want to follow their drama; I more find myself amazed when I simply compare their every day lives in comparison to mine. 
I can't imagine living in a mansion with just my husband a couple of pooches. 
I can't imagine taking my 3 and 5 year old children shopping EVERY SINGLE DAY. 
I can't imagine having a hair and nail stylist who come into my house every day to make me look like a celebrity.
I can't imagine spending the same amount on birthday cake that would get me a really good used car.
I can't imagine having (or pretending to have) that much money.
Most of all, I can't imagine the things that people would decide to say or bring up in a public situation, when you can even SEE it in their faces and eyes that they know there will be a huge fight. 

Are they that desperate for attention? I guess so.
You could argue that that's what this blog is: someone desperate for attention, for someone to acknowledge my opinion. And you may be right, but you also may be wrong.

A lot of these women do have good intentions, I'll admit. I've seen many who do wonderful things for charities and for their family, friends, etc. But why do some need to tell their husband on national television that she need her own personal jet? Or a yacht? Does anyone other than really important politicians or world leaders need a private jet? Does ANYONE honestly need a yacht? Probably not.

Because my sister (and my mother) got married this past summer, I also had my fill of watching wedding shows like 'Say Yes to the Dress,' and 'Bridezillas,' and although I could blame that on my sister, my continuing to watch similar shows is completely my own volition. Sometimes it's nice to watch women truly in love (not 'Bridezillas') finding the dress they want to marry the love of their life in. Often I can't imagine spending that much on a dress that I would wear only once, however, it is still fun to look. It's similar to window shopping, looking while not buying and still getting the same satisfaction.

Cooking and design shows are a double edged sword for me:
I know that a lot of these people are getting enough sleep, enough time to eat and take care of their health, nor enough time to contact their families. However, watching what these people can do under pressure, time, and money constraints is often amazing (or sometimes horrifying to us, the viewers). What humans are capable of doing is truly amazing, and I commend all the artists who compete on these shows.

American Idol? You're looking for the best 'performer,' not the best singer. If you want the best singer, try putting actual vocal coaches or teachers as your judges. I wish you would stop advertising it as the best singer. Most the time, I can't stand their voice.

There are few game shows I actually enjoy watching. 
One happens to be the Amazing Race.
These people are in a competition, yes, but part of this competition is learning about the cultures of other countries. The competitors are being exposed to places where English is not spoken and Democracy is not a way of life; these experiences are incredible opportunities to learn how big the world really is, and how different (and similar) all the people are. Experiences such as these are vital in order to rid the world of stereotypes, prejudice, and hate. Sometimes, experiences like this even inspire individuals to do even more to give back into the world, like Blake Mycoskie, who then created the first American company whose motto is 'One for One.' http://www.toms.com/

Such an experience is also a clear demonstration of ability to get tasks done in a using both street smarts as well as time management, and have a little fun, unlike the popularity contest shows where you can get 'voted off the island.'

The shows about average men and women doing difficult or extraordinary jobs can be fun, as long as the highlight of all your advertisements for that weeks episode is literally the only exciting part of the show. I'm not telling you to hype it up, I'm just saying don't over do the advertisements if that's the best you got for that week. 

One show I don't think I can ever watch? Toddlers in Tiaras. 
Considering how much it is advertised in commercials, I feel as though I've seen every episode.
I don't even have a problem with the kids so much.
Children are children. 
Your 3 year old daughter is not a queen or a princess, no matter how many flashy clothes you buy them.
Your 3 year old should never get away with ordering you out of the room, and you, the parent, complying.
What is the point of childhood beauty contests?
How many have you seen grow up to be the next famous actress on the big screen, or the next teen pop star?
I honestly don't know of any.
The only child model I ever knew the name of was JonBenet Ramsey, and that's because she was murdered.
Just keep that in mind when you're dressing your girls up in lip stick and high heels; we all need to be careful what we really want the world to see.

I will probably edit this or continue this in another post later on.