I'm not HUGE on designer labels but...

In the last few months I've been compiling what I will call a "Style Look Book." The idea is that I go through my old fashion magazines and tear out pages that I think are good looks or advice, whether it's hair, make up, home decor, or fashion clothing and accessories. Since I seem to have been blessed with the body similar to these models, I find that I can tell easily if I would like the combination on my body type.

When it comes to the clothing pages, I've been trying to make sure that I'm not only looking at what's popular and trendy now, but what will look good in the future, like how to layer a silk shirt with a bowed collar mixed with a sweater and a pencil skirt. Warm, and suitable for the office or a classroom.

I subscribe to Lucky Magazine for 2 reasons: 1) I had enough rewards money in one of my survey companies to redeem for the subscription, and 2) I love that the magazine includes stickers in which you can mark the pages that have things you really like and would consider buying (although maybe not the designer they are advertising).

In the September 2011 issue of Lucky Magazine, on page 245, I stumbled upon an editorial I'd obviously only skimmed over before because there was such a dress combined with such a shoe that I just cannot ignore. The editorial was labeled "The King and I," the idea was mixing ladylike pieces with stark prints, retro details, and a 'hint of Elvis."

Wait!! She's wearing stars? On a dress? And piano keys? On her shoes? In stark and bold black and white? (Did these people raid my mind's dream closet?)

I immediately started hunting. I saw that both the shoes and the dress were by Dolce & Gabbana (EEK, way out of my price range!), but nevertheless, I decided to at least see where I could find them. Wouldn't you know? They aren't in the Dolce and Gabbana store online. Or in any search I tried on Google. Or Amazon. Or Ebay. FINALLY on an 8th page on Google pictures, I found the shoes.

Dolce and Gabbana had used them in their Fall 2011 runway show, and pictures could be found Vogue's review of Fall Collections.

The bad news? Still can't find anything with a price tag. Not even for the "If I won a million dollars, I would buy..." scenario.

You can find the whole collection here: http://www.vogue.com/collections/fall-2011/mdgabbana/review/#/collection/runway/fall-2011/mdgabbana/4 , and look at all the other cute items they put down the runway.

So now, if you didn't know before, I really love shoes. Especially stilettos. And I love music. Which is why the piano stilettos are that much more awesome. And I've always loved stars on accessories and clothing. And I love black and white together in prints (if you've been to my apartment, you've seen all the zebra print).

I'm done squealing and freaking out, but I have one last question: Are people really going to start wearing socks like that with stilettos? It's going to be a dark and dim future for me if that's the case...

All I know is these two models are EXTREMELY lucky to be wearing those shoes.

Being Thankful

Every once in awhile I start having really negative outlooks on my life, and I immediately have a "Come to Jesus" session with myself. There is no reason why I should ever give in to excessive doubt and despair; I have SO MUCH.

An acquaintance of mine started a tradition on Facebook a few years ago, and has since been labeled 'The Diane Challenge." The idea is that for every day in November, you post something in your status that you are thankful for.

I've seen a lot of mixed reviews about it. Most of my friends have jumped on the bandwagon, even if they don't know Diane, and post their thankfulness every day if they are able. Some others, however, find it to be an annoyance. "Shouldn't we be thankful every day? Why does this have to be popular during Thanksgiving?"

I respect both opinions, I really do. I tend to encourage the thankful statuses, even though I myself am not participating this year (November snuck up on me and now I don't think it's worth trying to catch up).

It's not a popularity thing for me; it's about recognizing how much we really have when others live with so much less. The holiday season has been taken over by marketing; it's no longer about being thankful for your family, for the ability to travel (a lot of people in this world don't own vehicles), for the exorbitant amount of food on the table (that could feed a family in a 3rd world country for a month), and shopping the next day (Black Friday) for the excessive gifts that we don't really need. The reason for the season is Jesus Christ. He gave EVERYTHING so that we may live, and instead of blessing others we succumb to the shopping hype put on by the media and tell our children to watch for Santa.

I don't need presents. I have a mother and a father who are still alive; who love me and take care of me. I am not only going to college, but working on getting a Master's degree. I have an apartment. I have a heater and an air conditioner. I have a wooden floor with carpet. I have running hot and cold water. I have food in my refrigerator and my cupboards. I have a bed. I have shoes. I have more than one set of clothes to wear every day. I have pets. I have a TV and a computer. I have cable and internet. I have books and movies.

I HAVE TOO MUCH. How could I ask for more?

The reason for the thankfulness statuses are to help us all realize how much we really have when the media and society tells us we never have enough. If they bother you, I'm sorry. I find it spiritually humbling for me to give thanks to God for all the many blessings that I have and don't need or deserve, especially when I see the poor in my own backyard who might not remember what it's like to be warm in the winter time.

I want to learn to give back. I want to bless others, but in order to do it with a thankful and happy heart I must first understand and recognize my own blessings. This is not a glamorous topic, and I didn't have a lot of time to edit before posting, but I hope this will positively affect someone tonight.

Been Away for Awhile

Not that I think anyone has been checking everyday to see if I have posted...

... but on the off chance that you have, I apologize for my absence. Graduate school keeps me fairly busy with coursework, and the rest of the time I am either participating in, leading, or attending ensemble rehearsals and performances. Busy, busy, busy.

The weather has definitely changed over the last few days; we went from 70-80 degree weather to low 50s, and I had to bring out the scarves and woolen socks. If we had a fall, it's pretty much over now and well on the way to winter. As much as I love snow, I wish it didn't come with cold weather. I hate chilly bones. :(

On a more positive note, life is rolling along as it should be. I'm mostly keeping up with the coursework in my classes, and I don't spend too much time alone to think about being lonely. I know the big guy upstairs is looking over me, and I find comfort in knowing that His plan is greater than mine, so I need not be so disappointed when things don't turn out the way I want them to.

I started teaching voice lessons this semester, and I have learned so much about how to teach voice techniques and health, and also understand my own vocal strengths and weaknesses. As a teacher, you should never stop learning, and I think this is one of the first semesters in a long time where I find myself engaged and actively learning- not just listening and regurgitating for a test- tools that are going to influence my teaching style for years to come.

I have discovered so much about myself and what I would really love as a future career if I stay in the education field (I still desire a year or two in performance). I would love to be a choral music teacher either at the elementary or high school level, and also be an assistant band director or color guard instructor. I can't imagine my life without band and choir simultaneously, so this seems so logical. With my Master's in Vocal Pedagogy, I will also be able to make money outside of school teaching voice lessons (when I have the time, right?).

Right now I'm going to try to think less about marriage and starting a family. It is something that I want more than almost anything, but what I need is a balanced partnership. I haven't had a relationship possibly ever where the guy has wanted to take care of and provide for me as much as I have for him. I'm not saying I need boxes of chocolates, diamonds, and roses, but I do need gestures showing compassion and appreciation.

I am all about the other person; if he loves a certain sport or activity, I learn more about it and get myself involved in either learning to play/participate or being a spectator. I listen to his favorite kinds of music. I wear his favorite color more often. I learn to cook some of his favorite dishes.

Why, you might ask? Because he is important to me. No, I'm not going to pretend I like screamo-heavy metal, but I will learn to appreciate the vocal techniques that go into it, and possibly the musical intricacy (doubtful, but I would consider it). I don't want to change who I am, but I am willing to try new things and see if I like them, too.

On the same note, I would love it if the male showed the same kind of interest in me as I do in him, like in terms of my activities and enjoyments. I don't want a groupie, but some support in things that are important to me are welcomed and appreciated.

There are so many tangents I'm trying not to fly off into; a sure sign that I need to start blogging more regularly again. Until next time, my faithful followers, may the love of our Lord, Jesus Christ, bless you and keep you always.

Worth the wait

How do we determine in life what is worth waiting for?

I suppose it depends on your situation.

If you're in an ice cream parlor, it's probably not the best idea to just wait and wait until you know for sure you want chocolate fudge instead of mint chocolate; there's probably a growing line of annoyed people behind you. Just choose one and pay already.

How about it you're deciding on what classes you should register for this semester/year? Again, probably best you decide quickly instead of hoping that all the classes you hope to take will work out perfectly; you may end up having to take this class next year since it conflicts with another that you NEED. Oh, and if you don't decide quickly, the class will fill up so you'll miss out anyway.

How about love? Now that, right there, is when it gets really tricky and sometimes sticky.

I've been there, so I'm not speculating feelings or hearts. What if you really REALLY like one guy, and he's not really showing he's interested, and you kind of really like another guy who's definitely showing an interest in you? Do you wait for the one you REALLY like, or accept a date from the guy you like, just not as much?

That above basically describes my whole high school love life, which was essentially non-existent. I kept choosing the wrong one, and then I'd be unhappy and not commit myself to a relationship. But how do you know???

I can't say that I have all the answers. As my dad told me recently on the phone, "Falling in love is the easiest thing in the world. Staying in love is hard; it takes work. Some people aren't willing to put in the work."

Generally speaking, I think all of that is true. I've been in long term relationships before with someone who believed he loved me, and was left because the idea of dating a newly discovered crush seemed so much more interesting or fun. It's not right; it's not fair. But it is a part of life.

Getting crushes are so normal. What you do with those feelings are what makes or breaks your current relationship. How well do you really know someone after a few days verses the one you've dated over a year? I can't say I'm angry about it, but it does depress me.

What I think it comes down to are two things: happiness and sacrifice.

Are you currently happy with the person you're with in your life? If you are, why bother sacrificing that for something/someone that could end up being a crazy psycho?

If you aren't happy with that person, why have you not discussed ways on how to fix it? If you have and you aren't even trying to work on fixing it, then I got news for you: it's not going to work. Both people need to work to make a love stay strong.

The other is sacrifice: what would you be willing to do/give up in order to stay with that person? Not that they are asking; but in a hypothetical situation. If they got an amazing job in another state, would you be willing to make it work by either finding a job out there as well or devoting yourself to a long distance relationship?

Again, if the answer is no, you might want to examine why you are with that person. I've had a close friend ask me why I dated my boyfriend; he 'wasn't good looking enough' for me and was a 'nerd.' Well again, I think people are looking in the wrong areas. First of all, dating a nerd has it's advantages: you know they are capable of devotion to something if they are deemed that title, and that can mean the most attentive boyfriend you've ever had. Don't knock it til you try it.

 Second of all, I find him attractive, so it doesn't really matter if other people don't think so. If I was limited to only top notch looks and zero nerdy-ness I would be unhappy and surrounded by shallow guys who I can't have a decent conversation with and want all the wrong things from me.

A partner that treats you right and loves you for who you are is worth waiting for. I hope everyone learns that someday.

What makes a Melody?

We are all different and unique, and that's what makes this world an amazing place to live in: no two people are exactly alike, not even twins!

I know I often write about things that I observe, but there are some things that I do that I don't understand, so have fun with this! This will be redundant for people really close to me, but hey, you might've forgot something? (Unless you're my sister).

1.) I'm obsessed with having clean ear canals. 

My sister knows this well, because I think we have the same problem. I clean my ears probably twice a day, and I'll bet my apartment runs out of Q-Tips faster than most family residences. It seriously bothers the heck out of me if I can feel earwax. I'm not afraid of it by any means, just can't stand it like I can't stand a runny nose.

2.) I cannot sleep without socks on.

Even in the heat of summer, I need socks on. My feet (and hands) get oddly cold while the rest of my body stays warm and toasty, and basically always need something to help insulate my toes. I am super skinny with low amounts of body fat so I don't have a natural insulation that keeps me toasty at night. It stinks.

3.) I claim to hate anime, but...

In sixth grade I used to get up a half hour earlier than I needed to because I wanted to watch Sailor Moon while eating breakfast. I'm pretty sure I missed the bus a few times because I spent more time watching her episodes than getting ready for school. What makes this especially weird is that I find Serena/Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon EXTREMELY annoying. She is such a whiny crybaby, but I couldn't wait to find out what happened next. I recently was reunited with the show this past year using Veoh.com, and discovered a whole other season that never aired in the U.S. because of it's controversial content. I now know that several characters had their genders changed in the English versions because there's a lot of exploration in homosexuality and transexual characters. Interesting, huh? It's not a kids show in Japan!

Not gonna lie, I want to be one of these characters for Halloween this year. (shhh...)

And, of course, my favorite make up guru Michelle Phan has a Sailor Moon make up tutorial (which could be used for any of the characters!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i5qkSxF60U

To see her latest make up transformations, check out her website:

http://www.michellephan.com/

4.) I'm obsessed with high heels.

And I'm just about 5'10'' or 177.8 cm standing barefoot. Problem? For some. I'm no super model, but I did take some modeling classes which made me practice walking a runway in high heels. I love the way my legs look in them, it just also makes me a foot taller than half of the male and female population in Missouri. I get lots of funny looks when I wear them, and people ask me things like "Aren't you tall enough?" Well, yes, I guess technically I am. But you'll have to deal with it.

**Some shoes I designed (but can't afford yet!) on http://www.shoesofprey.com/designer. You can design shoes that will be hand created using only the best materials like Italian leather and silk, but keep in mind that top quality and hand sewn shoes are pricey!

5.) I'm more than a little obsessed with cats.

But I also have a conscience. Just because I see adoptable cats doesn't mean I'm going to take them all home with me. I do try to pet nearly every cat I see, but I have a policy that there needs to be a proper ratio of cats to humans in the house to make sure all are getting proper love and attention that they need. I think the ration is 2-3 pets per person. Since I live by myself, I have capped it at 2 cats, although I am trying to find homes for kittens at my boyfriend's farm and DESPERATELY want to keep one for myself! 

Kitten (Oreo) I recently rescued and found a good home for!

The little boy kitty I want to take home with me! He's such a fluffy sweetheart! Any ideas for a possible name?

5.) I'm left handed.

According to wikipedia, approximately 10% of the world's population is left handed. Which I think may be less, since many countries and people in general discourage it. When I volunteer with Chinese students and need to write something, a lot tell me "You write with the wrong hand!" Well, no, it's not wrong, but it's not right, either. It's left. :) The only downside is that the side of my hand often gets smeared in pencil lead and ink when I write a lot, so I'm glad that I've become a faster typer; no ink to worry about!

6.) I do not consume caffeinated beverages.

Technically many things I love have caffeine in them, like chocolate, but I do not like coffee, tea, soda pop, or energy drinks. I used to drink grape soda as a child, like when my parents took us to the laundromat,  but I pretended to like the burn because I liked grape flavored things. Now I don't even bother. I hate the way carbonation burns. So why don't I just drink coffee? Well, I think it smells amazing but tastes rather disgusting. My sister used to have a terrible Mountain Dew addiction, but switched it over to coffee, and now she and her husband started blogging about their coffee critiques. http://chybowskicoffeecritiques.blogspot.com/ I can't say I NEVER drink tea, because once in a blue moon I drink chai tea latte, but more for the soothing treatment of a sore throat or an overused singing voice rather than alertness or focus. I also like hot chocolate because it tastes amazing. Apparently there's caffeine, but I wouldn't know.

I thinks that's about all I have time for today. :) Maybe you learned something, maybe you didn't, and maybe you don't give a fryin' fish either way. :) God bless you and yours always. <3

Prayers for a BIG Adventure

One of my very best friends, Laura, recently embarked on one of the bravest adventures I've ever known someone to do; she moved to another country by herself to teach English. Not just any country, either: Korea.

Can I say "Wow"? I never thought that someone could move to a foreign country of a different language without any family or friends moving with her. The idea just sounds terrifying to me. Granted, she does have friends who live in Korea, but it's not so likely that she will be near them or get to see them much. Laura has a a personality that is just so inviting, she has befriended international students from all over the world.  But moving to the other side of the world into a different culture, and different way of thinking and living? Not for the faint of heart.

She has been such a blessing in my life since I met her 5 years ago during freshmen orientation at our University. We knew we were both majoring in music and decided to become best friends right then and there.

Our first picture together. :) It was SO bright that day!

This is just such a huge step for any person to make and I just ask that my friends pray for her with me, that she have a blessed experience in Korea. She arrived just a few days ago, and I know that she is already making friends and blessing others with her love and compassion. She is currently attending a university to learn the Korean language for an intense couple of weeks, and then she'll be off on her own teaching English.

I can't express how proud of her that I am, or how selfish I feel for wanting her to come back so I won't be missing her, but God gave her a path, and she followed it without turning back. :)

Laura, Madison, and myself

Madison, Laura, myself (yes, with pink hair!)

Laura and I at her farewell dance party :)

She is such an amazing girl, and I'm so happy for her. Follow her updates through her blog, http://misslauritaliz.blogspot.com/ (the story of her dining hall faux-pas is quite hilarious). :)

Dreams and Goals: 2011-2021

I recently decided that it could be fun to once a year post all my goals for the upcoming year, 5 years, 10 years, etc. Now 5 to 10 years from now, I could reread these and find them extremely depressing, hilarious, or just sit and wonder "WTF was I thinking?" but it's the middle of a very hot day, and I can't think of anything better to do.

Within 1 year, I hope to...

1.) Travel outside of the country. I recently accepted a Graduate Assistantship with my choir department, and one perk of being in the top choir is that trips are half paid. So in May of 2012 (if all goes well) I will be in Germany and France singing and touring for 10 days.

2.) Finish my thesis. I know I just started my Master's program this past spring semester, but I feel that I can get through it quickly, and hopefully, I would be able to graduate either in the spring or summer of 2012 if I plan well. I think it would be slightly annoying to graduate in December again, and then actually deal with moving in snow and ice.

3.) Landed a job/internship that I enjoy. I know that sounds a bit of a stretch, but I'm open to a lot of different things at this point in my life. I have a degree in Music Education that certifies me for choral and instrumental programs, I will have a Masters in vocal pedagogy, and lots of options to either move or stay in the local area.  My ultimate dream would be to spend a couple years performing, like on a cruise, like with Disney. :)

I think that's a pretty good start for 1 year goals.

Within 5 years I hope to...

1.) Be working a full time job that I love. :) Right now I don't care if that means being a music teacher in an elementary, middle, or high school, or if I'm giving lessons in either a private studio or at home, or if I'm still performing somewhere. The skies the limit, so long as I am happy.

2.) Buy and own my first car. I have always driven family vehicles, which is great, because it's on my parents insurance and if any repairs were needed they paid for it! Starting this next week or so I will be driving a vehicle that belonged to my best friend who is going to be living in Korea teaching English for at least a year, so I'll get a little experience in responsibility, but still will be on my parents insurance. In five years I hope to be established to the point that I can afford to choose and buy my own vehicle. With a lot of luck, maybe something cool and eco friendly, like the new Toyota Hybrid Coupe...

3.) Live and support myself on my own! I do not want to be 28 and living with my parents unless there are extenuating circumstances that I'd rather not think about at the moment. If I was in a tough spot financially, then I would have to humble myself into living with them, but right now I just don't want that to be a possibility.

In 10 years I hope to...

1.) Be married. I almost put this in the 5 year category, but I am really starting to realize that there is no rush, unlike what southern Missouri seems to think. 23? It's not on the top of my priority list. 33? I would hope that someone would think me a good catch to marry by then. On a side note, I would love to have my wedding photos done by Katie Day, a personal friend and brilliant photographer. If you don't know her work, you are seriously missing out! Her blog posts and her galleries simply give me tears of joy.

http://katiedayphoto.com/

2.) Have (a) child(ren). For years and years I never wanted to have any children that could grow up and hate me, but I guess getting older means getting wiser, and knowing that I want to be a mom someday. If you follow my blog, you know that my two cats are currently my children, but someday I would like one that will grow to be tall like me and not shed hair all over my black clothes.

3.) Sponsor a child in a 3rd world country, and visit them. Yeah, this one is tough to put in a category. I would like for it to be a 5 year goal, but I'm not sure how much travel I'll be able to afford after graduating, looking for a job, and paying for the dreaded student loans. If I sponsor a child, I don't want my heartless money to go there, though I know it's needed, I want to actually establish a relationship and be there for that child.

http://www.childfund.org/

4.) Stay happy and thankful for God's overwhelming blessings in my life. I can never repay what He's done for me, but I want to be a fountain of love and compassion for others. Through Him, I can accomplish ANYTHING!

Love Thy Neighbor

I went to two very different church services today, and I've been pondering the words of both ministers/pastors/brothers (whichever you prefer).

One this morning made his viewpoint very clear about how he sees people from other religions, how they need the word brought to them but he doesn't even want to associate with them. That the way for this church to grow is to do everything possible to get butts in the seats.

I just felt rubbed the wrong way about those statements. This was one of several tiny churches in a tiny town. Maybe the reason the seats aren't filled in this church is because they're filled in another. Maybe they are getting the word, just not in here. Or maybe, just maybe, people of the community have been rubbed the wrong way and don't want to come to this church anymore.

I'm not saying I dislike this church. There are a lot of good, wonderful brothers and sisters of Christ in there. But if the pews are empty, then there is probably something that isn't going well within the group. I'd much rather focus on taking the word out to the community and inviting them into the church home, but I don't think the ministering needs to be in the church. What about going out to the disabled, and the homeless? What about hosting community events to bring people of all walks of life together? We don't need a church building. Nobody does. If you think you do, try being an evangelist in a third world country. You'll probably have a big wake up.

I think what bothered me most was what was said about other religions. The religion in question was Islam, and Muslim people being an enemy of God. The kingdom of God belongs to God alone, and there is no way that I can ever understand the greatness of his power. The only people I know who could be enemies of God are the ones who denounce His existence, and even then they aren't even enemies, simply part of his lost flock. The point is, I don't believe that athiests, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindis, etc, are my enemies. They are my neighbors. Many are my friends. As much as I dislike certain Christian organizations, the Jed-heads and Westboro Baptist church family are my neighbors as well.

In Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus reiterates some of the laws of the Lord that were given to Moses.


“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


In my second church service today, we talked about the parable of the Good Samaritan found in the Gospel of Luke. I knew from the childhood Sunday school stories that Samaritans were thought of by the Jews as bad people, and accepted it simply because that's how it was explained to me.

I learned in my house church, however, the background story of how Samaritans came to be. If you read in the Bible, there is quite a recurring theme of kings who trust in the Lord followed by kings who do wickedness in the eyes of the Lord, and then the people of Israel get captured and turned into slaves (happens in Egypt, Babylon, and Assyria [Syria], and Rome just to name a few), but in one such case with the Babylonians/Assyrians, many of the leaders of the Israelites were taken from their homes in Israel and Judah, and after years and years of slavery they were finally released and allowed to come back. What the new leaders found was that the Babylonians and Assyrians who had resided in the land of the Israelites intermarried with them, and so there were lots of 'half-breeds' running around. There became a new law banishing these half breeds from the town, treating them as though they were sub-level creatures of the Earth. The Samaritans, as they were labeled, continued to believe that God blessed them, and worshiped mostly at a nearby mountain. (Giving quite a general overview here, I apologize). 


So back to the parable of the Good Samaritan. The context is that Jesus is approached by a man of the law who wanted to test Jesus, and asked him how to acquire God's favor and eternal life. I'll copy and paste the passage from Luke 10:25-37 :Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"

The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."

Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

Now, with my new understanding of Samaritans, this story takes on a new realm. This Samaritan, in the 1st century Jew's eyes, would never be the 'good guy'. Samaritans were evil. Half breeds. Not even close to God's love. There is so much disdain for them that the expert in the law will not even answer Jesus that the Samaritan was the neighbor; he answers 'the one who had mercy on him.' The Jews believed that the Priest, the head of the Temple would. Well, he must've had his reasons why not. The man was probably unclean! Well the Levite would! They have always been a favored family of the Israelites. Well, I'm sure he didn't want to become unclean either. Both of these men, who were clearly in God's favor, did nothing to help their fellow Jew. Instead, it was the unlikely half breed. The Samaritan felt compassion for him.


Imagine telling a modern example of this parable to a former slave owner post civil war; that if he lie dying on the ground that neither his white slave driver or his white retired Confederate neighbor would stop to help, but a newly freed black man. Say, what? 


Everyone is your neighbor.Westboro. Brother Jed. The Hindu family from India that just moved into your apartment complex. The homeless man that collects aluminum cans from your garbage. The perverted guy who hits on you at the bar. The drunk sorority girl who skips class. The campus minister that preaches things you really don't agree with. Members of Al Quaida. All of these people are my neighbors. Do I treat them as I should?


No. I will admit it. I have lied to beggars, saying that I have nothing. I have ignored the homeless in my backyard. I have talked badly about fraternity guys and sorority girls and their immoral habits. How am I being a neighbor to them? I'm not.


I need to love all of these people as myself. That doesn't mean that I should give all my money to a homeless woman strung out on drugs that swears she's just hungry. What I could do is buy her a meal, though. To offer her a sweater I don't need to keep her warm. 

I want to become a better person. I need to love these people. I need to pray for these people. I think the first step is opening my eyes. I don't know what my plan of action is, but I think I'm making baby steps in the right direction.                                    
Give me your eyes for just one second.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNS7GclZ7vg&feature=view_all&list=PLC78F3C1164E6281B&index=3

Is what I'm doing worthwhile?

Sometimes I have to ask myself that. I can't tell if I'm avoiding my future or making smart choices for my career.

I got my undergraduate degree in something that I'm good at, and moderately passionate about. The same holds true currently for my Master's. Would I enjoy this career? Absolutely. But if you asked me what I want to be more than anything when I grow up? Wouldn't be the same answer at all.

I want to be a performer. I have a habit of putting myself down before I ever get to an audition, and for many reasons. The first would be the time commitment. I am so busy during the school year as it is, involved in both band and choir ensembles, as well as my classes and private lessons. Being in a show that would require rehearsals nearly every night would be simply impossible for me.

The second issue is my lack of proper experience. I was in a musical at the Lyric Opera in Kansas City as a child, and in high school I was in the 3 musicals that they put on. None of my roles were the lead, or even supporting. I was usually chorus, and might have a line or two of varying parts that help further the plot. But I DREAMED of the spotlight; to be Mrs. Dolly Levi walking down those steps in a sultry gold dress and feathers in my hair.

The third, and possibly hardest issue to tackle, is feeling like I'm not good enough. I get put down really easily, and intimidated much quicker. Before auditions I would sit with the other girls and they would tell me all the reasons why they would get the part that they want, why they would be best for it, and why the director agreed. Somehow I let that get to my brain, and I screw up my auditions. Not terribly, but enough to see that I wouldn't get a lead. And that will probably always hurt. That I can defeat myself before I ever begin.

I wish I had better confidence in myself. As far as looks; hair, clothing style, and make up, I do fine! I can rock out any outfit you give me, and I will wear it with confidence and attitude. If you want me to rock a song for an audition, well, that's a completely other story. My voice doesn't like to work with me when I need it most.

I guess you would say I have a bad case of stage fright. And you would be right. Over the last 4 years of my undergrad, I tried to figure out how to fix my stage fright, but with no avail. I can sing fine in front of just about anyone, unless they are judging me for a grade or a part.

Something I wanted to do (but made excuses and was too scared to try) was to get an internship with Disney this summer. They have performing internships from a few months to a year, either has dancers, singers, or acting as the characters. I know in my heart I could do it; I grew up watching and quoting the movies and characters since I was little, and it would feel like playing dress up. I convinced myself that they wouldn't like my voice, and that I'm not ready to fail in such epic proportions yet.

A part of me still wants to try. A part of me wants to try this upcoming summer, but alas, it looks like a trip to Germany is in the making in May, and would possibly conflict with such cruise lines or theme park shows. I need to find my voice again. I want to become good. I want to become so good that everyone will wonder why no one picked me before.

But...

Maybe it's just a silly dream, after all.

http://corporate.disney.go.com/auditions/index.html

I'm thankful for...

I decided to not let my last online verbiage be negative, so I'm back to blog some more. I seem to often ramble upon what confuses me about other people and their actions, but right now I'm going to take a moment to reflect on the positives.

First and foremost, I am thankful for my amazing family. I have, of course, a huge extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins, and second cousins (both my parents come from farm families), but right now I want to focus on my immediate family.

My sister, Michaela and her husband, Andrew. She's a joy and inspiration every day in my life. She got married last year and for the first time in my life I feel truly lonely because I now live without any of my family (she was my roommate throughout my undergrad). I love that I get to catch up with her on Facebook and chat with her while we play scrabble online and talk about our crazy pets. We also pray for each other about jobs, managing money, and relationships (not just with significant others, but with friends, too).  Andrew complements her personality quite well. He got a good job and a house for them to move into once they were married, and has helped her tone down her (used to be) slightly erratic shopping addictions. I am thankful that they keep me aware of real life jobs, responsibilities, and struggles that lie before me after my (2nd) college graduation.

My brother, Christopher. Yeah, he's a lot younger than me (11 years, and yes, he was planned), and it has been really hard to form a friendship and bond with him. My parents began having lots of problems with he was really young, and Michaela and I were both in college when they got divorced. He is getting quite a different upbringing than what my sister and I had, and that's hard for me to digest sometimes. Make no mistake that I love this boy, and want to grow a friendship with him that he will be able to rely on in years to come. Right now I don't try to pretend I'm interested in all the video game and manga books he is into, but eventually I'm sure we will find more likes and dislikes in common. I want to thank him for keeping me young at heart and reminding me to be grateful for what I have.

My dad and his girlfriend, Michelle. My dad is, well, my dad. He has always had time consuming jobs from the time I was little (teacher, then police officer), but time with dad was always fun. He is probably who instilled in me my love of motion pictures. I absolutely LOVE movies. And also because of him, I learned to quote movie lines, which became our favorite game while waiting for food at restaurants. I can memorize and quote lines from nearly every movie I watch. Dad has his faults, of course, such as being in love with junk, and being good at collecting it, but I can never thank him enough for his inspirational dedication. He really taught me that dedication is what pays off in the long run, not looks or money. And Michelle? She's such a positive person, and has really helped my dad come alive again. She's a no nonsense kind of girl, and helps keep him in check. :)

My mother and her new husband, Bobby. My mom is the most generous person I know. She would rather go in debt and live on ramen and crackers than ever let me go without milk and bread in my fridge or gas in my car. I used to disagree with her on nearly everything, but now as an adult I appreciate her and all the sacrifices that she does for me and what she believes in. Let me just warn you, you don't want her on the head of a committee unless you want it to turn out 10000x better than you originally planned, because she will put her whole soul (figuratively, of course) into that project. Bobby is quiet and loving, and quite a good scrabble player. I enjoy his cool head in chaotic family moments, and even brings in humor (bad, but it's the effort that counts).

Step brother, Taylor. He's Bobby's son, and just about one of the bluntest and most creative people I know. Most of his emails and screen names make absolutely no sense until you ask him to explain them, and he doesn't have a problem telling you if he thinks your idea is lame. We all need that person in our lives; the one who tells us that we have a terrible idea and it would be much easier if we did this instead of that, or if our choice of hair dye was a total disaster. Maybe if celebrities had friends like this, they'd stay out of the tabloids as 'worst dressed'. :)

I promised myself I would just stick to immediate family today, so that's what I did! Next time I'll post about my amazing friends, and let me tell you, you will be jealous. :) Have a blessed day/evening, everyone!

Dishonesty: Pet peeve of the day

Dishonesty can come in many forms. Usually in the form of a lie.

I feel there has been a huge outbreak of dishonest people since I grew up, but perhaps the naive rosy-colored glasses just finally came off. Who knows.

I can't say that I never lie. That would be a lie. Sometimes we lie, and we don't even realize it until the words are already leaving our mouths. It was a good idea in our heads... but it's not 100% true.

Lying and dishonestly really started bugging me while student teaching at a high school. Being a teacher does not make you blind, contrary to popular teenager beliefs, so when I'd tell a student to put away a cell phone, it most likely meant (9/10 times) that I actually SAW the cell phone out.

The number 1 response I got back? "I don't have my cell phone out."

Okay. I'm a college kid, right? I'm not gonna sit here and tell you've I've never taken out my cell phone in class to text or read a message. I have. And I know it's rude. I also know that it can become a random habit of simply checking; where your brain is on autopilot and you aren't thinking about the fact that you're in class and not supposed to do that.
I UNDERSTAND THAT.

What I DON'T understand, is why they lie and say they don't have it out. 9 out of those 10 times I walk up to the student and blatantly look in their folder, or hand behind their back, and guess what? There's a cell phone in it. Then I go through the process of the warning, then that the cell phone will be taken if it's out again, and after so many instances reported to parents and the office, and blah, blah, BLAH.

I would've been just FINE if they apologized or gave a surprised and sorry glance and just put it away without another word. Hey, I wouldn't have to stop teaching the whole class!! What a concept!

But why did I have to stop class? Because the students were dishonest with me. The easy route would've just been to accept they'd been caught and put it away. Why is that so hard? I don't think I'll ever fully know the answer.

Of course, it's not just in the classroom. Witnessed dishonesty today. My mom drove me back to my apartment in my college town today because I've been having car troubles, and she tried to help someone in need that deceived her.

A woman approached my mom in the parking lot while she was about to get jumper cables out of the back of my car, and the woman asked to use her cell phone to call an 800 number (free, in case you don't know), so that she could activate her new cell phone that she'd just bought. Mom obliged, and this woman made her phone call within hearing range, and began arguing with someone named Gary about sending her money to make her phone work, about his lack of help in getting her a plane ticket, etc, etc. She kept dropping a handful of papers, including Social Security cards while she talked. She gave my mom her phone back, thanked her, and walked off weaving between houses and the apartment complex. Mom checked the phone number and go figure, it wasn't an 800 number, but rather a long distance phone call. Not only that, but she had dropped a SS card outside the front of my apartment, and wouldn't you know, it wasn't hers.

Mom wasn't really mad that the woman made a long distance call. Mom was upset and hurt that this woman hadn't been honest with her in the first place. My mom has free long distance minutes, so it's not going to cost her extra on our phone bill, but she was very offended at the fact that this woman had made such an ordeal over a story that wasn't even true. My mother is a generous person, but this is not exactly going to encourage her to be generous to strangers in need.

Most people just shrug it off, but I worry about these people. How deep are the lies? Do the lies rule their lives? Or do they actually get to be who they really are? I wonder if people realize that lies can start off small, but they have to keep growing and you have to remember just what you told everyone. It may hurt, but isn't it easier to just tell the truth in the first place?

"Yes, Ms. ______. I'm sorry, I'll put it away."

"Excuse me, ma'am, could I borrow your phone? I need to call my ______ from ______ because I need him to send me money to help me turn my phone on."

Getting Raptured

I know. Everyone has been posting about this. The day of the second coming of the Lord. Being a Christian myself, I have heard many various sermons and discussions over this topic, but they never really made sense to me. Books and movies describing their beliefs have become popular in both sacred and secular situations, such as the "Left Behind" series. The scripture quoted is in such weird terminology, what I refer to as unused old English, requires every few words to be given text alternatives and explanations. What gets me is that the word 'rapture' is never in the English translated Bible. I am not here to disprove anyones beliefs; all I ask is that you just read the next few paragraphs with an open mind and an open heart.

Recently, I've been attending a sort of house church with a friend who had his Bachelor's in Biblical Studies, and is finishing his Master's in Religious Studies. Not only has he read the Bible thoroughly, but he's studied it in it's original text origins of both the Greek and Latin Bibles. The text that most Christians recognize in regarding to the Rapture is from the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 24:36-44. This is how it reads from my King James Bible that was given to me a few years ago:

"But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come. But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up. Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh."

To put an overview of what I've been taught, the basic idea of the rapture is that God will take up his true believers and followers before the second coming of the Son, so that His people will avoid the suffering and tribulations that the Earth will endure while the Antichrist is taking over the powers of the governments, and then in 7 years the revelation will occur, when Christ returns with his people to end the Earth.

People have been predicting the end of the world since the time of the Aztecs (who believe the end of the world is 2012), and there are Christian groups that believe the rapture happened on May 21st, 2011, and that on October 21st the actual judgement will occur. If you want to read some of these philosophies and their Biblical 'references,' here's a link: http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/ .

I have several problems with these philosophies, the first being with the first verse I quoted, that "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." To me, this literally means, no matter how good we are at predicting, we really do not know the day or hour that God is coming. If you believe it is May 21st, 2011, or October 21st, 2011, then I will automatically assume you are wrong. No man knows the day or hour. Some verses I can't translate literally, but this is pretty straight forward in my eyes.

The next problem is one that I'd never taken the time to ponder until I was at this house church. If you read above, the next verse says that "But as the days of Noah were, so shall also be the coming of the Son of man be." If you only read that verse or line, you could say it's a simile, because it makes a comparison using the word 'as'. Okay, so the day of the Son of man will be like the days of Noah. What were the days of Noah like? Well, if you go back into Genesis, chapter 6 (all of it, but for purpose I will just quote 9-14), you would read the following in the King James:

"These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God. And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japeth. The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.  And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch."

Anyone who grew up in a church knows the story and what happens next: Noah and his sons build the ark according to God's directions, gather food and supplies, and fill it with God's creatures, and are essentially saved from the floods that wiped out the people of the earth.

Going back to the simile above... the Son of man will be like the days of Noah. I have understood my whole life that the believers will be taken to heaven while the Earth goes through suffering. Well, who was taken and who was left in the times of Noah? Noah and his family were left on Earth, the wicked were taken. If the day of the Son of man will be the same, then I would deduce that the wicked would be taken, not the 'saved.' And up until this day, this day of the Son of man, people will be getting married, working in fields and mills, and living their daily lives.

Now the Bible does include the book of Revelations, which is used as a timeline for those who make predictions of the end of the world. Revelations is more than just a book of predictions; there are three main sections: the past, the present, and future. People like to read mostly from the future section, in which the outline of the Christ and his second coming are referred, as well as lists of the tribulations the Earth will endure. Where do we see which are left and which are taken? I have not found it there, but I'm willing to read any passages you believe would disagree with this completely opposite of the widely accepted Christian view of the rapture. In reality, this widely accepted view of rapture is very new, only introduced in the 16th and 17th centuries. You can read more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture, under Doctrinal history.

I do not ask you to agree with me. I do not think that I necessarily have all my ideas in order, but rather, that I am studying, and want to learn more. From what I have recently read, I believe that when this day of the Lord comes, I would much rather be with the group 'left behind,' and not taken.

Drama-obsessed People- part II

When do you tell a person that you honestly don't give two cents to their drama they want to share? Especially when it's not even their own drama, but someone else's?

See, I haven't been too careful of doing that myself. Sometimes when I feel a bit superior over an ex-boyfriend and want to make sure the person I'm talking to knows why I'm better, I'll share information that is not relative to my situation at all that makes the other person look bad. I'm even friends with some of my old boyfriends. Why would I do that?

I'd easily like to blame someone else, but if you've read my blog before, you know how I feel about that already. It's true, this style of gossiping is a learned behavior, but I can also take charge of my life and try to live differently.

How do we stop this vicious cycle?
To tell the truth, I don't know that I have the full answer to this. I think it might be different for each of us.

For me, probably the first step would be to let the past die. If I have truly forgiven someone, then I have no reason to share past offences against me with other people. It's not their business. The only reason to share such information is to change that person's view on another in a bad light. Isn't the world hard enough without everyone giving you the cold shoulder before you get to prove you've changed for the better?
That part starts with me, and I even already broke this today. I talked badly about an ex unnecessarily. I want to become conscious of my inclinations to talk badly about other people, and nip it in the bud.

So that would hopefully help my problem, but what about everyone else?
Well, first, make sure you diagnose the situation correctly. Sometimes a friend needs a shoulder to cry on or get advice, so details of too much information may come with the territory. What I want to avoid are situations where a person is talked about simply to have their credibility diminished. An act of revenge, revelation of a scandal, etc. Not my business.

So... how would you want me to politely tell you that I'm not interested in hearing how much a 'girl hates you for no apparent reason and these are the reasons why I don't care,' or that 'at a party my ex-boyfriend's fiancée took off her ring to appear single while dancing with other guys'? It's not that I don't love you. I just want the bad-mouthing to stop. Starting with me.

Will you stand with me? Will you help keep me accountable?

My Recent Obsession...

Baking.

Before you start picturing me in your head as a little miss Betty Crocker with goodies on decorated trays in my kitchen while I stand smiling proudly with flour smudged on my cheek and apron, know that I grew up not knowing how to cook. At all.

When I left for college, I knew how to use the microwave and the toaster and how to follow instructions on a box like for macaroni and cheese and hamburger helper. However, I only made easy, follow-the-box-instructions food. How I have maintained my figure, I'll never know. My family ate out of the home (fast food or sit down restaurant) at least once EVERY DAY. Yes. Sometimes more than once a day.

It wasn't until I went grocery shopping one spring day last year with my current boyfriend that I ever questioned my eating habits. I knew eating out wasn't healthy, so I definitely cut back on that, but I still bought every thing easy that came in a box with all the ingredients included. He saw me grabbing a box of pancake mix, and he asked me, "Why are you buying that?"
"... Because I love pancakes. And waffles. A lot. I make them all the time!"
"I know, but why don't you just buy flour and sugar? That's way cheaper."
"You mean, like, make it? From scratch? I don't know how to do that!"
*rolls his eyes* "It's super easy, I promise. And it's more cost efficient." (Yes, he really does talk this way)
"Um... Okay..."

Don't judge me. It's not like we're all born knowing how to cook. Someone teaches us. My mother is a good cook, but she doesn't like how time consuming it is and all the dishes that come with it, hence why I grew up eating a lot of take out. I have had a lot of free time at college on weekends and evenings, so I have slowly but surely started using recipes to make food from scratch.

I joined Allrecipes.com, which is a free online archive of thousands of recipes all submitted by other members, and I can read ratings, comments with additions/subtractions/general suggestions, and save an online recipe book of my favorites. It started with pancakes/waffles, then gradually moved on to biscuits, crepes, cakes, muffins, pies, soups, and even shake and bake chicken. I spend 90% of my money on groceries now so I can have more things to make in my kitchen, and I love every minute of it. Like today, I baked strawberry banana muffins (use half recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Strawnana-Bread/Detail.aspx) and banana bread (used a home recipe from my boyfriend's mother).

I have even become adventurous enough to make my own little creations, such as a delicious stir fry using whatever meat I have on hand as the base, fresh vegetables sliced and diced such as carrots and broccoli, an egg, and spices such as fajita seasoning and garlic salt. Serve on hot white rice and you have yourself an awesome dinner. I definitely don't think I'll ever be on Top Chef, but hopefully I will be able to make delicious meals for my future husband and children someday.

Are my pets being baby substitutes???

I'll preface stating that I have two cats, both just under three years old. I won't bore you with details about their adorableness; it will annoy you and it goes without saying anyway.

The thing is, I don't think a lot of people are as attached openly to their pets. I need to make myself admit that when I am gone for a few hours from my apartment, I find myself missing their snuggly, furry company.

I love being needed. I love taking care of them. I love when they take over my lap and take a nap. I even enjoy cleaning up after them. It makes me wonder if my hormones are a little out of whack.

I do want kids someday. I'm in this weird stage in my life where half of my friends and cousins around my age are getting married and having babies. As soon as one wedding happens, another friend is engaged and is planning their wedding. While that is happening, another friend, whose wedding I went to not too long ago, is pregnant, and so there are baby showers being held.

Me? I ended a dysfunctional relationship that took up almost 3 years of my college career, and have now been dating a wonderful guy for a year. I'm not quite ready to make a commitment that means forever yet, but I'm craving the thrills of bachelorette parties, wedding planning, and baby showers. It honestly doesn't help that both my sister AND my mother got married this past summer (just over a month apart, mind you).

I think that I get a little jealous and crave the attention that everyone is getting because someday I do want to get married and have children. I think that the way I keep myself from going nuts is by acting the mommy to my kitty babies. They are definitely independent beings, but they also love me like crazy and are needy for attention when I come in the door.

Another aspect that keeps me in check is that I know that often divorce in America these days contributes to not really getting to know and understand the person you're committing to until after the vows were taken. To me, marriage isn't supposed to be a business contract, where if he screws up on his end of the deal you'll be over and he'll owe you money. It's about being a family. Becoming a single unit. I want to make sure that I know exactly what I'm getting myself into before going down the aisle.

I also know that I don't want to have kids until I am married. There are definitely some great couples out there having children and staying happy without being married. The sad thing is that the happy ending is not what usually happens. I know a girl who lost her virginity to a guy she had just started dating, and even though they used protection, she got pregnant after the first time. She told him, and he wanted her to get rid of it, but she morally could not do so. Now he claims that it was from someone else and that he knew nothing about it. She's definitely a strong girl, and she's going to make it through (she's about 7 months along now), but I know that this isn't what she wanted. I know that she would have much rather wanted a guy who would stick around and want to be a part of her and their child's life. This has really happened to at least 4 friends and personal acquaintances of mine. The guy I'm dating is not this type, but it's easier for me to just avoid all the dramatic possibilities completely.

It's a tough world out there. It is implied in stories that when you love someone that everything will work out, but it doesn't. Better to make the best of everyday, and work through problems with love and understanding as best I can. In the mean time, I will probably continue to spoil my kitty babies with love (not food, one is definitely getting overweight). It calms the desires just enough to hold off until it's really my turn.

Blame the people

I don't know why, but lately it's been bugging me when I hear someone blame objects, things, for the bad things or results.

Like in court these days, we can prove that music, movies, and video games cause people to kill each other. Um, no. You couldn't PAY me to believe that. Guns do not kill people. People kill people. People create the weapons, which then are used to kill other people. Violence in movies, music, and video games do not make people do any thing. We always have a choice.

We have a choice to believe that orange is really blue, and blue is really green. We can call a pencil a frindle or a crayon. We are given freedom of choice from birth here in America. In some countries, your beliefs can easily get your whole family murdered. Here? Instead of worrying about how to feed a family on less than a dollar a day we blame our weight problems on McDonald's. Who chose to buy the 2 Big Mac's with large fries and a large soda? Oh, that would be you, not McDonald's.

Blame the real problem. We dig our own graves. We gain weight because we don't eat right. We have prejudice because we refuse to understand others. We get in fights because we don't try to listen and choose to hear what we want. We kill people because it's the easy way out of fixing problems.

Hate your life? Stop blaming others. Do something about it. Be who you want to be. Sounds silly, but I used to watch Westerns with my dad, and in the movie Silverado, there is a very small woman named Stella who said, "The world is what you make of it friend. If it doesn't fit, make alterations."

Imagine what the world would be if we all had the same positive outlook on our mishaps. Imagine what we could do. Now, go and be. Be the change you want to see in the world.

What happened to real music?

I will start by admitting that I like listening to pop music.
With that, know that that doesn't mean I like ALL pop music or musicians.
I happen to enjoy a variety of music, and pop happens to be one of them.

That being said, I am deeply disappointed these days with the level of vocal performance/abilities, the problem also known as auto-tune.
I understand the practicality of it and it's usefulness, especially when the price of good recording studio time is to the max.
However, if the singer does not actually sound good with their natural voice, you cheat the audience when they hear a live performance.

There have been tons of examples in from both live concerts to awards ceremonies when you hear an artist you like sing a song that you love and realize it sounds NOTHING like the recording you have on the CD.

Some of it I can account to stage fright.
I'm a singer.
I am the queen of stage fright.
However, I don't sound like I'm singing a completely different tune when I perform.

If that IS a musician's problem, then maybe, JUST maybe, they should invest in some professional voice lessons, or never sing live. Yep. I just said that.

Musicians that use auto-tune when singing live are even more tacky.
Think to back in the days of records.
Sometimes these artists only had money to pay for ONE take of a song, and maybe not everything was in tune, but they sang/played their hearts out and that's what made it GOOD.

The problem comes when we find out artists are singing their hearts out and it sounds HORRIBLE.

How do we fix this in such a superficial and judgmental society?
Find the real musicians.
Find the ones who sound good without the auto-tune.
Find the ones who have soul rather than money to pay for cheesy song writers and choreographers.
Then maybe, just maybe, all music on the pop radio station would deserve to be there.

Broken Promises

Yeah, I know.
General title.
Really, if you think about it, it's such a huge horizon of possibilities.

I honestly believe that the worst thing we can ever do is make promises.
Seriously, we know that most of the time there aren't really horrible consequences.

When I don't work out like I promise myself I would, I'm actually usually a happy person.
Since I didn't work out, I'm not going to be sore tomorrow.
However, it doesn't help me get into shape or have a healthier lifestyle, like I want.
**side note: being slim does not equal being in shape. I would like to be able to run a few miles and not feel like puking.**

If you ever meet someone with an addiction, whether it's to drugs, alcohol, caffeine, or even just candy, they are kings/queens of breaking promises to themselves. So maybe they didn't quit smoking today; it's not like the smoke today will be what gives them cancer, right? No big deal.

When it comes to breaking promises to ourselves, it's usually something that hurts us in the long run, which is why we so easily write it off in the present.

The question really is: why do we even bother?

Let's come back to that.
Now, promises to other people?
That's a lot worse.
And a lot trickier.
Especially when kids are involved.

We teach kids that if you make a promise that you're a terrible, horrible person if you break it:
We make them promise to eat ALL their food.
Do their homework.
Brush their teeth.
Go to bed on time.

We promise them things like:
Going to the movies this weekend.
Getting ice cream.
Going to a friends house.
Going to the park.
Going to an amusement park.
Going on vacation.
Etc, etc, etc.

Kids are usually good at keeping their promises.
Adults are not.
And the kids take is PERSONALLY.

I know I did. I would remember every single time one of my parents broke a single promise.
Even if it was just postponed a day.

Then kids grow up. And realize just how easy it is to make promises and break them.
We forgive some people a little easier than others, especially when we understand circumstances as adults.

What I REALLY hate is when a guy or girl promises not to break someone's heart.
Um. Excuse me? What if you 'fall out of love' with this person while they're still in love with you?
How do you get out of that promise, I'd like to know?
The only people who make those promises early on in the relationship are actually the notorious heart breakers.
Note that I said 'early on.' I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, so don't get all tied up in knots.

Continuing, we most easily break promises to those that we love, ourselves, and the people we don't really like.
Basically, everyone. How do we stop the never ending cycle?

To quote an old song by Savage Garden,
"Don't go making all these promises you know you cannot keep.
There's a time to be a king and a time to be a thief.
'Cause if you're making all these promises you know know you cannot keep,
You know time will be the thief and your fallen king will end up alone."

So, don't make promises.
I'm not saying don't make any whatsoever.
If you promise to stay sober while your license is on suspension, I definitely say keep sober.
And I definitely believe people should keep those wedding vows (which are PROMISES).

However, if you're riding in the car with your son/daughter/niece/nephew/cousin/next-door-neighbor/whatever, maybe don't promise that you'll get ice cream after the movies. Maybe, if you find the ice cream shop still open, surprise them.

Maybe don't promise to call your significant other on your break at work. You might not get that break you deserve, or you might find something you really need to use that time for instead. You could say that if you get a chance you'll try to call them on a break.

If you're in (an) organization(s), seriously be wary of making promises to meetings or extra bake sales. You aren't a super hero. The best you can do is try to be at as many things as you can.

That being said, this does not give you permission to be a flake. If you say you're going to try, at least make the effort.
If you don't mean it, maybe you should just be honest with that person and tell them you can't/don't want to.
Honesty goes a long way with most people because they're used to the fake lies and broken promises.

I will try to be a real person with every person I meet. How about you?

The Lenten season

If you go into Wikipedia, Lent is generally described as the following:

"Lent in the Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Conventionally, it is described as being forty days long, though different denominations calculate the forty days differently. The forty days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan.

This practice was virtually universal in Christendom until the Protestant Reformation. Some Protestant churches do not observe Lent, but many, such as Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians, Baptists and Anglicans, do."

"There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations."

How it was explained to me was that during Lent you give up something that you don't really need, and during the time you would normally be spending doing whatever it was you gave up, you used that time to dedicate yourself in prayer, studying the Word, and just becoming closer to God. I didn't really practice it much as a child because I didn't understand it.

What I don't understand as an adult is how Lent became a diet regiment. I do not want to label any group of people, and more than anything, I blame tradition and lack of understanding. Growing up, I saw where people were giving up soda, giving up junk food, giving up beef, or meat in general for forty days. Maybe giving these up brought them closer to God, and if so, I am not going to judge them. What I don't understand is the lack of God in Lent.

Yes, Lent is a tradition through the church. We do not need tradition to be closer to God. Got it. I'm just saying that if you're going to give something up, why is it for your benefit and not for His?

If you read this and practice Lent through your church, I challenge you to try making a real sacrifice this year:

**Like to gossip? Don't participate for 40 days. Tell your friends you aren't interested, and don't repeat to anyone hearsay that is hurtful to another human being.
**Like to buy coffee every morning? Make it at home, and give the money you would've used to your church or a charity of your choice.
**Like to read novels for leisure? Try reading a devotional or Bible guide during your reading hours. There are so many out there, Google or ask friends for recommendations.
**A lot of extra free time? Volunteer it away with your church or a charity.
**Honestly need to lose weight? Join a program or start a work out regiment with a friend, and make time to pray for each other's health every day.
**Struggling with time, finances, and friendship? Wake up ten minutes earlier every day and just spend it in prayer. Pray for your family, time, finances, and friendship. Pray as if He's real and as if He's listening.

A sacrifice, by definition, is an act of an offering; destruction or surrendering something for the sake of something else. It's not supposed to be comfortable. It's not supposed to feel good at first. It's about learning what we can live without, and giving the glory to God.

You don't have to be religious to practice meanings of Lent. If you don't believe, I would still challenge you to give up something for the better of the world and the people who live in it.