Sunday, May 8, 2011

Drama-obsessed People- part II

When do you tell a person that you honestly don't give two cents to their drama they want to share? Especially when it's not even their own drama, but someone else's?

See, I haven't been too careful of doing that myself. Sometimes when I feel a bit superior over an ex-boyfriend and want to make sure the person I'm talking to knows why I'm better, I'll share information that is not relative to my situation at all that makes the other person look bad. I'm even friends with some of my old boyfriends. Why would I do that?

I'd easily like to blame someone else, but if you've read my blog before, you know how I feel about that already. It's true, this style of gossiping is a learned behavior, but I can also take charge of my life and try to live differently.

How do we stop this vicious cycle?
To tell the truth, I don't know that I have the full answer to this. I think it might be different for each of us.

For me, probably the first step would be to let the past die. If I have truly forgiven someone, then I have no reason to share past offences against me with other people. It's not their business. The only reason to share such information is to change that person's view on another in a bad light. Isn't the world hard enough without everyone giving you the cold shoulder before you get to prove you've changed for the better?
That part starts with me, and I even already broke this today. I talked badly about an ex unnecessarily. I want to become conscious of my inclinations to talk badly about other people, and nip it in the bud.

So that would hopefully help my problem, but what about everyone else?
Well, first, make sure you diagnose the situation correctly. Sometimes a friend needs a shoulder to cry on or get advice, so details of too much information may come with the territory. What I want to avoid are situations where a person is talked about simply to have their credibility diminished. An act of revenge, revelation of a scandal, etc. Not my business.

So... how would you want me to politely tell you that I'm not interested in hearing how much a 'girl hates you for no apparent reason and these are the reasons why I don't care,' or that 'at a party my ex-boyfriend's fiancĂ©e took off her ring to appear single while dancing with other guys'? It's not that I don't love you. I just want the bad-mouthing to stop. Starting with me.

Will you stand with me? Will you help keep me accountable?

1 comment:

  1. amen, sister. thanks for this post. ...reading this, i realize how I am guilty of the same thing sometimes...that's hard to say out loud, but bringing one's sins to another in forgiveness covers over a multitude of sins. way to go girl with this reminder. sometimes we all need to hear this kind of thing again even if we've already known it before. I'm thankful GOd won't give up on us even when he has to say things over and over and over and over and oVER again! lol

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