Forgiveness

Making amends, making peace, whatever you want to call it.
You don't have to be religious to feel better about yourself or your situation after apologizing when you've done something wrong. Just have to be human.

I student taught not too long ago in an elementary music classroom, and although a lot of singing and dancing went on, so did a lot of accidental bumping, fingers getting stepped on, elbows too close to neighbors, and ill-choice of words.

In the younger grades, especially, we would often take time to practice the exchange (as a class) both the apology and the acceptance of the apology. It would go something like this:

**Situation where, during a dance, a friend accidentally jabs his elbow into another friends chest**
victim-"OW!!"
Me-"Are you alright?
victim-"He hurt me!"
friend-"I didn't mean to!"
Me-"Oh, class, let's talk about what we should do. Raise your hand if you know what you should do if you accidentally hurt your friend. (Picks a raised hand)
student 1- You should say, "I'm sorry."
Me-"Very good. Let's practice as a class.
All-"I'm sorry."
Me-"Very good. What should the hurt person say back to their friend? Someone raise their hand and tell me. (Picks another raised hand)"
student 2- "You could say 'I forgive you.'''
student 3- "Or you could say, 'It's okay.'"
Me- "Let's practice saying this together. You can say either 'I forgive you,' or 'It's okay.' Ready?"
All- "I/It's forgive/okay you."
Me- "Very good! Now who's ready to play the Old Gray Cat?"
******

Now, I assume if you're reading this, you're an adult like I am. I am curious why forgiveness, something that is instilled in most public education systems in America, seems to get harder as you get older.

Perhaps the offenses are bigger? Stealing, lying, cheating all happens in classrooms, however, when we become bigger people, so do the things people steal, the lies, and the situations in which people cheat.

I lived in a situation with roommates in college that was less than pleasant in several different situations. Among stolen items from various members in the house (not just myself) include large amounts of money, food, movies, video games, an Ipod, even contact lenses (yes, prescription). We all had things stolen. And it sucked.

I had strong suspicions about several house roommates; especially ones that were not exactly the most forthcoming, or had a history of lying.

I finally confronted one such person recently (I live by myself now), because after a few months, I found it eating away at my soul. What was stolen from me that made me the most upset was contact lenses. When I finally talked to her about it, I suddenly realized how much it didn't matter in the long run. I had strong suspicions, as well as information to back up that counted as proof in my mind. It doesn't matter if she did or did not steal my contacts.

A book I read recently called Radical by David Platt is generally about how to separate your Christian faith from the ideals of the American Dream. One chapter is completely dedicated to the wealth of the United States compared to the rest of the world. I have always known about the difference of wealth, but it certainly put things in my life into perspective.

I'm not condoning the stealing. I am simply learning to accept that overall, it's just stuff. I had no right to ignore or be angry like I had been for months. I have glasses (2 pairs, actually), and I am lucky enough to have an optometrist in my town, let alone the money to pay for both a diagnosis as well as a cure (being the glasses or contacts).

I am not the best Christian in the world, and will never pretend to be. I will, however, accept that I have been forgiven for everything that I have ever done, and everything I will do in the rest of my natural lifetime. I have no right to withhold grudges, hate, or anger to any human being, no matter their vices against me. Everyone deserves my forgiveness. Even when it's hard.

And it always is.